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This edition of the Life Issues Forum is available in English and has been posted to our website, where its Spanish translation will be posted next week.
The Life Issues Forum
is a bi-weekly column by Pro-Life Secretariat staff addressing the
latest issues on the culture of life. Columns may be reprinted as they
appear here (in full and without alteration) without further permission.
In Christ,
The Pro-Life Secretariat
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LIFE ISSUES FORUM FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Supporting a Friend When She's Unexpectedly Expecting May 5, 2017
I had been brought up to believe that life is always a gift,
but it certainly didn't feel like one when I gazed in shock at a
positive pregnancy test. As a mom who had my first baby in college, I
know that an unexpected pregnancy can sometimes bring fear, shame, and
doubt.
Wikipedia image
However, I also know that an unexpected pregnancy can bring
joy, excitement, awe, gratitude, and deeper love than I knew was
possible. About nine months after looking at that pregnancy test, I
received the very best gift I have ever been given: my daughter, Maria.*
An unexpected pregnancy might be confusing along the way, but
life--though at times difficult--is ultimately beautiful.
Perhaps one of your friends has become pregnant unexpectedly.
As someone who has been there, I encourage you to support her in her
new journey of being a mother; it's important that she knows you are
thinking of her and supporting her.
An unexpected pregnancy can send a woman into crisis mode. If
your friend just found out she is pregnant, she may not be thinking
clearly, and she may feel she has no control over anything at the
moment. When a woman experiencing challenging circumstances confides she
is pregnant, the reaction of the first person she tells tends to set
the tone for her decision-making.
Avoid responding with shock or alarm, and be calm and
understanding. Be aware of how she is responding to you. Listen to her
and let her know you love her, you are there for her, and it's going to
be okay. Pay close attention to her emotional state, and act
accordingly.
Depending on where she is emotionally, it may or may not be
helpful to congratulate her at that time. However, it is always
important to affirm that every person's life--including her child's and
her own-is precious and beautiful no matter the circumstances
.
.
Pay attention to what might make her feel most loved. One
person might appreciate encouraging words, while another might feel more
supported if you help with specific tasks. Don't be afraid to ask her
if she needs help with anything or to make specific offers to help. For
example, you might offer to help with cleaning, finding a good doctor,
or running to the store to pick up the one food that won't make her feel
sick. (But remember to read her cues, and make sure you're not being
overbearing.) Simple things--letting her know that you care and are
always ready to listen, that you are available to help her, that you are
praying for her-can give hope and courage when she might otherwise feel
alone.
The most important thing, though, is to pray; it's is the
most effective way we can help. Pray for her, for her child, and for
guidance in how you can give her the best possible support.
Your support might be the only support she receives. Even if
we never know how, the smallest things we do can change someone's life.
You can make a difference in her life. Will you?
*Name changed for privacy.
This issue of Life Issues Forum has been adapted and shortened
from "10 Ways to Support Her When She's Unexpectedly Expecting,"
originally published in the 2015-16 Respect Life Program. Please visit www.bit.ly/10WaysRespectLife for the original version. A directory of pregnancy services can be found at www.heartbeatinternational.
