Mary's Shelter November Newsletter

 Vol. 3, No. 6   

Greetings!      We have an interesting and unprecedented situation at Mary's Shelter right now.  Three of our current residents came to us from relatively stable marriages.  We are relieved to report that one is being reunited with her husband later this month.  Another resident, however,  is separated from her husband by an ocean of visa problems and there is very little chance that they will be together again anytime soon.  And the other you have to read about in this month's resident interview.  Her story will give you pause since, for many of us, it hits close to home.     Another interesting fact is that of the 9 pregnant women we are currently housing, 5 are due with their babies between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Looks like a busy holiday season in store for everyone at Mary's Shelter!    Once again, thanks to the many who continuously support our shelters with donations, time and prayers.  Without you, we could not keep our doors open.  The Mary's Shelter project is absolutely a community project.  When you enter our homes and see the donated furniture, the women getting rides and support from dedicated volunteers, the bills being met, the transformation of hearts and minds,  you can't help but see the hand of God in this ministry.          On behalf of the 13 women and 10 children currently living at Mary's Shelter, we thank you for these continued blessings.          God bless you!    Kathleen Wilson, Director       The person who gives with a smile is the best giver because God loves a cheerful giver.      - Mother Teresa

Mary's Shelter Arts and Craft Benefit - RESCHEDULED!     How would you feel if you could shop for Fall and Christmas knowing that your money would go to saving the unborn and aiding women in crisis pregnancies?   Come to the 2011 Arts and Crafts Benefit at the Mary's Shelter Thanksgiving/Christmas Open House!    100% of the proceeds from the hand-crafted items will be donated directly to Fredericksburg's Mary's Shelter ( www.marysshelterva.org) where women are nurtured, babies are born, and new beginnings become reality.   Date:  Saturday, November 19th, 2011 Time: 10:00AM-3:00PM Place:  Mary's Shelter Big Blue House 309 Hawke St., Fredericksburg, VA 22401 Here's what you'll find:       jewelry       rosaries       scarves/cowls       table linens       greeting cards       baby items      yard sale items      And more!   Contact Adele for more info: jrajr@earthlink.net

Meet Tammy an interview with one of our residents

Q:  What is the hardest thing you have ever done?   A: What I am doing right now!  I'm raising 3 kids with another on the way, and it is hard doing it by myself.  I've never been alone like this.  The plan was for me to stay home with this baby, and my husband was supposed to  work.  That's what I thought the plan was.  Now I have to change my life. Q:  What made you decide to leave your husband? A: The rent was due, and my husband, who was not working,  had stopped coming home.  My temporary job with the VA hospital had ended, our cars had been repossessed, and there was not enough money to pay the rent.  I texted him and did not hear back for a week.  I told him we needed to leave since we could not pay the rent.  I started packing.  I had no idea where we were going to go, but I kept on packing.  I put all of our things in storage and bought bus tickets to Virginia, the only place I could think of going to.  My kids were so excited to go back to Virginia.  They hated Pennsylvania.  They were getting bullied at school - it was awful.  But I kept thinking how crazy this was and how I had no idea what we were going to do when we got there! The whole time I was hoping my husband was going to call my bluff and ask us not to leave, that he would get a job and take care of us, but he never did.  I was really not expecting this.  We had not been having marital problems or anything. In a way, I would like to think he is on drugs because that would at least be an excuse.  Q: What did you do when you got to Virginia? A:  We arrived on September 13th, and I went to Social Services and asked if they could help.  We had no where to go and were staying in a hotel.  They referred me to a shelter in Manassas.  That shelter told me about Mary's Shelter.  I called and Miss Kathleen was able to move us in on the 17th.  I am so grateful that we have a roof over our heads, but I never thought this would happen to me.  I have never lived in a shelter or been on welfare or anything like that.  Just last year, we were a double income family living in a 4 bedroom house in Woodbridge with 2 vehicles and no financial worries at all. We both had high-security clearances.  I worked at Quantico and he worked for TSA.  Everything was fine, and then he wanted to move back to his hometown in PA.  I agreed, you know, because he was MY HUSBAND.  The man who used to get a second job every Christmas.   I never imagined he would just stop working, stop coming home, stop answering the phone.  My children are crushed.   If you had told me a year ago that my husband would quit working, abandon his family and act like his unborn baby does not exist, I would have said you are crazy! Q: What are your hopes for your children? A: To stay on the honor roll at school and continue getting good grades.  My oldest daughter wants to go to Harvard - that is her dream and I believe she can do it.  She wants to become a pediatrician. Q: What did you want to be when you were young? A:  A singer!  I played clarinet and saxophone, which is the closest that I got.  But I did get chosen to play a saxophone solo for Bill Clinton!   He told me that I played better than him! Q:  What do you want to be now? A:  Super mom!  That's what my daughters call me.   I just want to be able to provide for them and take care of them. Q: What person do you most admire? A:  My grandmother. You don't meet people like her everyday.  She was very wise, patient, understanding and down-to-earth.   She has always been my hero.  I named one of my daughters after her.  She taught me so much, like how to be patient and strong.  She used to say,  "I know I'm old but I still know."     Q:  What advice would you have for another woman in your situation?   A:  To stay strong and to keep praying because God brought us such a long way.  He has helped us so much. My grandmother would say that even when you are sinking God is helping you. I just remember how I was packing and had no clue where I was going to go, but God knew and His Hand was guiding us all the time.

Introducing..... Jeremiah Emmanuel, born 9/1/11, 8 lbs., 4 oz. photo courtesy of Lori Elizabeth Photography

Resident Profiles    Lila:  Lila found her way to Mary's Shelter after her husband's parents, with whom they were living, decided they did not want her in their house anymore.  Pregnant and jobless, Lila and her 3 yr. old daughter sought refuge at Mary's Shelter.  8 months later, Lila and her two little girls are about to be reunited with their husband and father who has found steady work and a place to live.  Lila has been a joy to have around the shelter.  She is so easy-going and friendly and never causes any problems.  She is a good mother to her children as well as a good example to the other residents.  We are going to miss her, but are so happy that she will soon be where she truly belongs. Sarah:  Sarah is due in December with her first child.  She has been in school studying to be a pharmacy tech, and just the other day, she passed her final exam.  We are so proud of her achievement.  The next step is for her to find a job, and we pray that she will be successful in that endeavor as well.  Sarah is smart and together, and there is no reason why she should not be one of those ladies who truly makes something of herself.  We'll keep you posted! Cassandra:  Cassandra's story would break your heart.  This poor woman has had a truly awful life.  She is pregnant with her 7th child, and she currently has custody of none.  She will not get a job no matter what we say or do.  Instead she volunteers for the shelter by babysitting the other children.  She is very good with children, and this arrangement seems to be working out for the time being.  However, the future seems quite bleak for Cassandra.  Her unwillingness to work makes it unlikely that she will be able to maintain custody of this child as well.  Please pray that she receives the healing and strength that she needs to make a positive change in her life. Catherine:   Catherine is back.  You may remember her story from the Summer Soirée - the young woman who left our shelter only to become pregnant 8 months later.  She called Kathleen, desperate for help and seriously contemplating an abortion.  This would be her 5th pregnancy and 2nd abortion.  Although Catherine was sometimes difficult to deal with, we did not have the heart to turn her away.  Kathleen was able to talk her down from the ledge and she agreed to come back into the program under certain conditions.  So far so good.   Please pray for her as she considers whether or not to place her unborn baby with adoptive parents.

Volunteer Corner:  An Interview with Kelly Valko   Bio: My name is Kelly Valko I am 39 years old and married with 4 children. Three of my children were born in my heart through adoption via Spotsylvania Social Services 4 years ago. Then a year later, the Lord blessed my husband Lenny and me with a beautiful baby girl, Gabriella, biologically.  I worked as a supervisor at Geico for the last 11 years and recently decided to be a full-time Mom.  I am very active in the Special education area due to my oldest daughter Kimberly's blindness, and I am a foster parent as well.       Q: What sort of volunteer work do you do for Mary's Shelter?   A: I work as a volunteer doing grocery store runs, cooking classes, and mentoring a few of the Moms.          Q: How did you first get involved with Mary's Shelter and begin volunteering? A: I started my involvement with Mary's Shelter because our church did it's annual appeal. My husband and I were looking for a cause that would allow us to participate as a family. Our oldest daughter is visually impaired and most charities would only allow her to do menial tasks which frustrated her and insulted her intelligence.       Q: How do you find time to volunteer? A: I find time to volunteer by doing/typing my shopping list at the same time as the Moms. When I taught my cooking class we prepared a family meal that my children and I ate with the Moms. I am also able to bring my 3 year old daughter during the day when my other kids are in school to help the Moms with appointments for doctors and schools.       Q: What is the best part of volunteering at Mary's Shelter? What have you learned or gained from your volunteer experience? A:  The best part of volunteering is how blessed I feel to work with a program that teaches and empowers women to become successful members of society. I have also gained a tremendous knowledge of programs available to people who are less fortunate.       Q. What do you feel you have to offer to the residents at Mary's Shelter? A:  I have the experience of being a Mom via  unconventional means, which proves that adoption is a beautiful option. Also I am very adamant about expecting no less than honesty from the Moms, which I give them as well.      Q: What would you recommend for others who want to get more involved in Mary's Shelter through volunteer work? A:  I recommend everyone to volunteer at Mary's Shelter because you can expose the women to something you care about. The wonderful thing as well is there is no set schedule for volunteering and it is encouraged to get your whole family involved.

Thank You!   * Another big shout-out to Mike O'Connor for the awesome pictures he took at our Summer Soirée in August.  We have them in a web album on our website, so please check it out! * Many thanks to Carlton Bullock and David Foster for their tireless efforts in getting our security cameras and computer system up and running. * Thank you to the Quantico Ladies MCCW group for hosting another meeting and breakfast.  We deeply appreciate the beautiful baby diaper bouquet, the generous gift cards, and most of all, the continued prayers. * Thank you to all of our Monday night babysitters!  We could not do it without Helen and Maren as well as the awesome group from the UMW Students for Life.

Prayer Requests    *Please pray for the repose of the soul of Kortney Blythe Gordon and her unborn baby Sophy who were both killed in a car accident last month.  Kortney was a pro-life warrior who worked for the Students for Life, and she is greatly missed.  Please also pray for the Blythe and Gordon families as they suffer this tragic loss. *Please pray for Matthew Wise who is gravely ill in the hospital with Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome.  His parents are ardent supporters of our shelter as well as the annual hosts of the Christmas Soirée.  Please pray for his complete and speedy recovery!