(Jer 31:15) Thus saith the Lord: A voice was heard on high of lamentation, of mourning, and weeping, of Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted for them, because they are not.
CRISIS MAGAZINE: Our Collective Responsibility to Protect the Unborn
ST. ANTHONY MESSENGER: Project Rachel: Vicki Thorn's Post-Abortion Ministry
FROM THE MAILBAG
VIA Broken Branches Newsletter by Anne Lastman: A Special letter
Dear friends I promised one of my "girls" Anne Marie, not her real name, but you have been praying for her and me as we have worked together, not finished yet, over the last few months that if she wrote her story for me and you I would give it front page space, she has, so herewith:
Three weeks prior, I had unexpectedly discovered I was pregnant. I am 44 years old and have 4 teenage children in my care. What should have been a wonderfully joyous occasion for me turned into a situation of despair, desperation and depression? And so began my cycle of "fixing the problem" My head was spinning and I didn't feel in control of my life. I had to take time off work and I spent my days visiting doctors to discuss my situation. They all informed me that it was no big deal to terminate. It's simple they said. I can even end the pregnancy as easily as taking a tablet, I went to see "counsellors" at fertility clinics who also advised me that termination is a simple procedure and very normal. Women do it all the time. I was repeatedly informed that at my age, I was at high risk of many complications if I continued with the pregnancy. All I was doing was terminating "cells".
As the days passed, I fell deeper and deeper into depression. I made an appointment to speak with a genetic counsellor at a private hospital opposite the Austin Hospital and the lady there spent an hour listening to me crying as I explained my fear of having a baby at my age. She pulled out a book and showed me all the risks involved with pregnancies with older women. She also told me that many Catholics have many abortions and are sent to the Austin to have the procedure.
I walked in and out of abortion clinics four times. I didn't want to be pregnant yet I didn't want to have an abortion. Even the abortion doctor whom I saw in my distressed state, informed me that I was "blessed" as I already had four children and why would I want to make my life financially difficult if I had another. He also told me to hurry up and decide because he has a business to run and id very busy. I must say looking back, those places were full to capacity. The rooms were full of young girls who were all calmly sitting and waiting patiently for their turn. I was the only one that was older and I was the only one who was in a very distressed state.
After three exhausting weeks I succumbed to the termination. I wanted and desperately needed my life to return back to normal. I was mixing up my depression with being pregnant and I could not stand one more minute of it.
My life however, didn’t return to normal, I felt empty inside and the realization that I had killed my own child was extremely hard for me to accept. I hated myself. I felt shame. I felt deep guilt and most of all I felt regret. I was still depressed and I would cry uncontrollably. I also feared God and I was afraid of retribution would follow. Exactly one week after the procedure, I was crying uncontrollably and I begged God to help me. He did. I stumbled across Anne Lastman’s name whilst googling abortion regret. Two days later I went to see her.
Thank you God for giving me Anne. Anne has helped me to heal. She has taught me that God’s love, Mercy and forgiveness is far greater than my sin. With Anne’s help my baby has a name and I have a plaque made remembering my child. I also know that my baby has forgiven me and we will be re united in heaven one day. Six months have passed since my abortion. It is the single thing that I think about every day and the one thing that I deeply deeply regret. Abortion changes you. If only I had met Anne before the abortion."
Dear friends as you read “Anne Marie’s” letter please note all the post abortion symptoms that I written about over the years. Note the stress, even the lies told to the woman, the coldness and distance of the abortion clinic staff, the ambivalence this woman went through. Even the “abortionist” who used biblical language “blessed” that she had other children in order to hurry her into making her decision. And to think that her fear was that she may have had a difficulty with her pregnancy because of her age and the genetics counsellor who told her that “Catholics have many abortions and are sent to Austin Hospital for the procedure” was appalling. Nothing else can be said about this.
The Desert Fathers: sayings of the Early Christian Monks: Humility
42. 'Once Theophilus of holy memory, the archbishop of Alexandria, came to Scetis. The brothers gathered together and said to Pambo, 'Speak to the bishop, that he may be edified.' Pambo replied, 'If he is not edified by my silence, my speech certainly will not edify him."'
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