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“Fathers, If An Abused Woman Comes To You She Is Looking For Christ!”
Disclaimer: The Courageous Priest
Apostolate agrees with the author that the Priest should assist the
abused person in their healing process by making use of the Sacraments,
the Church, and the Saints. The Courageous Priest Apostolate fully
endorses the notion that the injured soul should stay far away from a
secular therapist who indeed may prescribe additional sin to heal past
wounds. However, the Courageous Priest Apostolate believes finding a
good and orthodox Catholic therapist may be beneficial at some point
during the abused person’s healing journey.
Dear Fathers,
 I
am a Catholic survivor of incest and other childhood abuse. I have
been a recipient of Mental Health services and currently work in the
Mental Health field with adults diagnosed with chronic mental
illnesses. I would like to share with you some of my experiences before
I ask you to please stop sending women to counseling.
While I was working as an intern in two different places at once,
one being a Veterinarian clinic and the other a counseling office, I was
placed in a very difficult situation for any woman but especially
difficult for one with my background. The Veterinarian had a file at
the Counselors office and I was able to read his clinical notes.
(Counseling notes do not have the privacy that the Seal of Confession
offers. HIPAA does not provide anywhere near the protection that the
Seal does.) This man had confessed to a beautiful, tall, blond, female
Mental Health Nurse Practitioner that he mentally undresses the women
who work in his clinic, suffers from ED and has anger issues. She
recommended that he “watch pornography to aid his manual stimulation to
help overcome ED and go tanning to help with anger.” I wish I was
making this up, but I am not. HE confessed to HER and SHE prescribed
SIN. SHE told HIM to watch pornography and masturbate and work on his
anger in a tanning bed. I wish this was an isolated incident, but sadly
it was not. All of her notes that I was privy to as I did her
dictation offered advice along these lines. She even suggested to a
married couple that they watch porn to help a “dry patch” they were
going through.
One of the men I care for with a chronic mental illness was receiving command hallucinations to corner and rape me.
He was admitted to the hospital where he was advised by the
Psychologist who runs the floor to “watch porn in his room until the
urge to rape is gone.” Again, I wish to God this was a joke. I have many more instances such as these to share, but I’ll leave it at these.
When I began actively healing from incest, the first person I
turned to was my Priest in the Military. He advised I go to counseling
and stated he did not feel competent to help with such issues. So I
did; I started AMAC Counseling. While in therapy I was taught to
“embrace my anger as the fuel to get me through the healing process.”
As a Catholic with a basic Catholic High School education, I was taught
that anger was one of the seven deadly sins. So, during the week, I
would “embrace my anger” and on weekends I would confess my sins of
anger that I was committing because my Priest told me to go to
counseling. It was the same for compulsive sexual sins, hatred and
addictive behaviors. It seems the only thing that my counselors and
Priests agreed on was forgiveness but even on that they were divided on
what that was and how to go about it. The confusion and guilt drove me
to leave the Church for about a year because there was no way I could
heal when the healing process included committing sins that I had to
confess. Something had to give, either I stop therapy or I stop going
to Church; the two were incompatible. I eventually did stop therapy
when I was advised to burn my memories in a “fire cleansing ceremony.
When I turned to other Priests for help over the years, I was
advised to go to therapy until I met one good Priest who led me through
the healing process with only the Church and Saints as guides.
The women I have known that have gone to a Priest for help with
abuse issues are usually going as a last resort instead of first
recourse. Please stop sending them back to therapy. They are coming to
you because you are a man of God, an ordained Priest an Alter Christus.
How can men and women who prescribe pornography as a remedy for
sexual sins have true understanding and compassion for incest and sexual
abuse survivors?
One Sacramental Confession and hour of Adoration has more power to heal abuse wounds than months of therapy. If a woman who was abused comes to you, she is looking for Christ.
Don’t send her back to the wolves. With the statistics claiming that
one in three women have been sexually abused as children, the chances
are very good that you will have a few coming to you for help. Give her
the advice of the Church and Saints, not the garbage of hell.
If you, Father, can’t help us, who can?
In Christ
Natalie Anne
“The priest holds the key to the
treasures of heaven: it is he who opens the door: he is the steward of
the good Lord; the administrator of His goods…The priest is not a priest
for himself, he is a priest for you.” St John Vianney
Originally posted at: Catholic Spiritual Healing
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